For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll

The wedding blow-up was heavenly, wasn't it?  So much fuckery of the intentional and unintentional variety made up for the fact that someone decided to break up all the soapy action, not just with commercials, but also with Cameron not stripping and Abiwail sticking her nose all up in sphincters it doesn't belong in.  Know what, though?  The wedding cake was so good that I was more than willing to eat around the hair.

Here Comes the Snide: An Ejami Engagement

I know I haven't updated in some time, so, first off, I'm going to apologize for that.  I can't really blame the show.  There's been plenty to write about, both positive and negative.  Lately I've been feeling like everything I write these days is crap, so I wasn't blogging.  But then I thought about how I watched Days at its near-worst and figured if they could frequently put out crap and still maintain an audience, maybe there's a slim chance I can, too (even if this entry is a lot shorter than I wanted it to be).

Is that an intro, or is that an intro?

Lights On, Clothes Off

Ta-da! I said I'd see you on Thursday, and I actually managed it! Go me!  I'm going to have to keep this relatively brief, though, as I've got a hot Skype date tonight and a couple of writing projects to research for. I hope you still find it's still worth the read, though.

Hollywood Days of Yore II: More Retro-y Movie Posters

Hollywood Days of Yore: A Whack of Retro-y Movie Posters

Why not, right?  You can click on the images to see the larger versions. If you see something that you like, please don't steal it from me. It just wouldn't be very nice. I'm a poor, nutty girl who just happened to have way too much time on her hands over the past two days, but I still put quite a bit of work into these.

The Not-So-Young and the Snarkless

This morning I found myself in the very awkward position of being snarkless yet still wanting to blog. I liked yesterday's episode. Like, I really liked yesterday's episode.

Law and Disorderlies

At one point, someone actually asked, "Where are we going?" 

You tell me.

I really hate to be that one guy at the bachelor party who's a total wet blanket and doesn't want to chip in for a lap dance for the groom, but here goes.  I hated yesterday's episode, for some reasons not dissimilar to the problems I had with these episodes. There was so much I'd been loving about the show -- Rafe being in a coma after that (not brutal enough) beating, Nick telling Gabi he probably isn't that into her (join the club), Will and Sonny being adorable, and Kristen, Kristen, Kristen...But today was...blech.

EJ & Sami: A Sweet Disorder

I wasn't going to do a blog about EJ and Sami's fight-flight-afternoon-delight, but come on. I had to do it. This was the first real test EJ and Sami faced as an army of two. I don't remember much about all those boring military documentaries Alex watches, but I do remember something about the Roman's using a "triangle" fighting formation, where they'd form a triangle to force a wedge into the usual row-on-row fighting formation. Hope, Gabi, Daniel and the rest of Salem tried to drive a wedge between EJ and Sami, and it almost worked. Sami and EJ regrouped, though, and came out victorious. Also, there was sex.

...Then She Said, "YES!"

Obviously this should have been written and up the other night, but, as it turns out, it's actually better that I had a day or two to process everything that happened on Tuesday's episode. By "everything", of course, I mean the marriage proposal, which was EVERYTHING. When I tried to write last night, I stared at my big, glowing monitor for about two hours and the only word that came to me was "fadlkjdasdkkddk".  I decided to keep that word to myself and sleep on it. Not the word. The episode.

Like a Kidney Stone

Maggie, Hope, Chloe, Marlena, Kristen and Abigail need a serious intervention because they've got this whole strong, independent woman who stands by her man come hell or high water and goes after what she wants thing all wrong.  If you're the one doing all the fighting, he's not worth fighting for. If a man or woman can't do the same by you that you do by them, hang a sign around their neck that says "Free to any home but mine" and call it a day. Daniel is so not worth holding onto.  John is not worth holding onto right now either. I don't care if he has a plan to bring down Kristen.  Yeah, okay - Marlena throws child-like temper tantrums sometimes, and she pouts so often you'd think there was a piano wire running through her bottom lip and screwed into the floor, but she's still an adult.  If John has a plan, he should let Doc in on it instead of acting like a puckered old asshole.  As for Daniel, that guy is probably the most high-maintenance significant other in all of Salem now that his daughter is gone.  Mind you - Jennifer is coming in at a close second there.

A Slow and Steady Groove

People have been talking non-stop about EJ and Sami rolling in the deep while talking about Nick rolling in the deep with the fishes.  They're the belles of the blue balls, and one question I've seen popping up is whether or not Days would ever give a Will/Sonny sex scene the same treatment.  

And They Shall Be Smoten

After my physical this morning, I practically ran home to be on my couch with a Shamrock Shake I picked up along the way in hand at 1 pm sharp.  I haven't rushed home to watch an episode of any show - soap or other - in ages, and it put quite an extra bit of spring in my step.

Like EJ and Sami

Today something changed.  In the blink of an eye, talk of EJ and Sami went from "Why can't they write EJ and Sami like [insert epic grey couple here]?" to "Why can't they write [insert soap couple with amazing potential here] like EJ and Sami?"

I Just Want to Bang on the Drum All Day

Remember when Kristen trying to sink her claws into Brady while mind-fucking Marlena was the only thing Days had going for it?  That's no longer the case.  In fact, I've been finding that the Kristen/Brady stuff has been dragging episodes down as of late.  That's because Nick Fallon is working overtime.  He's the big bad on the show now, and he's making Kristen's plan look even sillier than it already looks.  The only person who's dared to take on Samantha Gene Brady again and again in recent years is one EJ DiMera, and they're playing on the same team now.  Kristen's only adversary is...Oh, wait. She doesn't have an adversary.

Knowing Me, Knowing You

Well, I thought today's episode of Days was pretty dang great.  Kristen and Brady's mini-drama aside, of course.  These two really have nothing to talk about when it's just the two of them.  Kristen is starting to have feelings for Brady, but I only know this because she keeps muttering it to herself when she's alone.  I'm not feeling anything between them.  Don't misunderstand me - If I never see another segway race through Horton Town Square, it'll still be too soon.  But these two need to give me something soon, otherwise I'm just not going to give a shit when it all goes to hell.

Acting!

As I'm sure you know by now, one of my biggest pet-peeves when it comes to soaps is when I'm being written down to, or when important corners are cut just for the sake of plot.  It's lazy.  Take a couple of extra seconds to do it right, guys.  I'm not expecting Law & Order or ER here.  I just want to be able to save my eye-rolling for the good stuff.  Oh, hey. Wait.  Maybe I'm the lazy one.

GABI

Am I supposed to be thinking, "Sami, you've got it all wrong! Gabi isn't the manipulative bitch! It's Nick! Nick's the bitch! Leave the poor girl alone!"?  Because it isn't going to happen.  Gabi is still a bitch, and I won't be happy until she gets run out of town by a mob headed by Abby and Adrienne carrying boards of wood with long, rusty nails hammered through them.  If all goes according to plan, Chad will be sitting in a leather wingback chair, sipping on juice and gin, and watching live coverage of the lynching on the news.

The Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change

At first glance, I thought this was a tedious episode.  I forget, sometimes, that these people aren't going to do exactly what I want them to.  There's more than one Salemite on today's show that needs to be reminded of the same thing.

Staring at Doors

Two days in a row. What the what.

RAFE

Rafe...Rafe.  Hm...Rafe.  Let's talk about Sami instead, shall we?

Back to the Business of Daze

Alright, alright.  I'm back from Ejamiland. I've unpacked, I've displayed all the souvenirs on the mantle and I've hung all the posters up on my walls.  Now I'm ready to get back to Days business. Or Daze business, as the case may be.

There's been a shift behind the scenes, and it's like the clouds have parted and we're finally seeing some sunshine.  What a difference a few weeks makes, huh?  The show is far from perfect, but it's been fun to watch again, on purpose, and that's been a long time coming.  

A lot of stuff's been working for me, but some stuff hasn't.  So what's what?  Here we go.

You and Me Against the World

So yesterday, EJ and Sami did the no-pants-dance in a bed.  Obviously this is a huge deal because they haven’t had sex in a bed since 2008, and even then it ended with Sami chasing after Lucas, followed by my lady boner deflating faster than you can say “short, short man”.  This time it ended with those six little words I’ve longed to hear since 2006.  “I love you. I trust you.” Be still my long-suffering, withered little heart!

It Was the Best of Days, It Was the Worst of Days

So what took me so long to post my half of the best and worst of 2012?  One of the reasons for the delay is that it’s tough as steel balls to be bothered to write about a show that doesn’t seem to want to bother itself with you.  And, well, when you start to see a pinhole of light at the end of the tunnel, it can be tough to tug your angry panties back up from around your ankles.  I went from one to the other, which caused double the delay.  Can you double a delay?  Nevermind.  Stupid question.

In case you missed the first half of the list (written by stellar guest-blogger Dido), check it out here.

The Sigh That Launched a Thousand Ships

Ejami Fleet Week is upon us, ladies and gentlemen. 

Because Ejami, That's Why

Sooo…

Why am I putting off posting my half of the Best/Worst of 2012 list?  Why am I up at this ungodly hour (well, ungodly for me)?  Why will I throttle anyone who calls between the hours of 1 p.m. and 2 p.m.?

BECAUSE SEVEN FUCKING YEARS, THAT’S WHY!

A Very Belated Best and Worst

So once again my mask has slipped and hiding behind it is a huge, disorganized mess.  This was supposed to be up a couple of weeks ago when everyone else who was on the ball was posting their best and worst of 2012 lists.  Of course with holidays, and neck injuries and whatnot, our lists were delayed.  I take full responsibility for the fumble.  

Hey, wait a second... "Our"?  What "our"?  Who's "our"?  

"Our" is me and my guest-blogger, Dido, who is the woman behind the first half of this blog's "Best and Worst of 2012" list.  And, boy-howdy, did she ever go above and beyond the call of soapy, bloggy duty. My end of things will be up soon, but for now, and without further ado...