The wedding blow-up was heavenly, wasn't it? So much fuckery of the intentional and unintentional variety made up for the fact that someone decided to break up all the soapy action, not just with commercials, but also with Cameron not stripping and Abiwail sticking her nose all up in sphincters it doesn't belong in. Know what, though? The wedding cake was so good that I was more than willing to eat around the hair.
"This never would have happened if Dan and Jen were still together."
I'm going to open this up with something I'm almost certain I'll never say again. I loved every second Marlena was on my screen. First of all, kudos to Victor for playing the good doctor (I use the term "good" loosely, of course) like a fiddle and coming out of that holy matrimony mess without needing to even wash his hands. By the time Victor pocketed that Tribute to Kristen DVD and slipped out, the only person looking at him and not Eric's cleft chin moving in and out of Kristen's decolletage on the big screen was Maggie. Big Red stopped wondering why Jennifer and Daniel can't work things out just long enough to notice that Victor didn't look one bit shocked by everything that went down.
Okay, okay. Back to Marlena. These past few weeks have been a revelation. Marlena is so much more fun without John. Okay, maybe that's not exactly what I mean. Everyone needs a bosom for a pillow, but they don't need to get sucked right into the bosom and end up with their head lodged into that special someone's ass, which tends to be what happens to Marlena when John is around. Now if Marlena is able to have fun storylines outside of strawberries, cream, and John's gaping maw, I say "Welcome home, John". Seeing Marlena working with the likes of Nicole and Victor to bring down Kristen was fabulous. She was so out of her element. Because of that, we got to see so much more from Marlena than just smugness or sobbing. To work with two of Salem's great criminal minds, she had to tuck that sense of superiority she usually sports under a hairnet so it wouldn't get into the schemes Nicole and Victor had her cooking up. She had to learn very quickly that smart and sneaky go hand-in-hand, and she has the tire marks on her back left by the bus Victor threw her under to prove it.
That extra looks even less surprised than Victor does.
Marlena's Clouseau-esque antics were certainly something to behold. I may have rewound Marlena beating up that poor laptop and knocking down all those partitions that had been hiding her from view about fifty times. I found it that funny. One thing Marlena hasn't picked up over time is how anything that doesn't operate on steam works. Right up until the very end, technology bested Marlena, and it brought out the best in her.
Marlena rescued her stepson (not from his own stupidity, unfortunately -- that goes wherever he goes) and humiliated Kristen, but at Eric's expense. I know that ruining a wedding is the soapy preference to giving someone cause for divorce or annulment shortly after a wedding, but methinks that would have been preferable to destroying your poor, saintly son in such a horrifying way. Marlena, girl. You asked Victor several times who Kristen was doing on the flashdrive and he kept changing the subject. Fine, you can't find the play button on a CD player, but you're a psychiatrist. Victor was obviously keeping something from you. By the way, why was Marlena's first instinct to ask if it was Daniel having sex with Kristen? If she was worried it might be someone she knew, why wouldn't she ask if it was John? I thought Daniel was an odd choice. Humour-wise, I understand why she asked if it was Daniel, so I guess I should just be grateful that we got a good line from Victor out of it. Still...
Hope, I understand you're shocked, but shit is hitting the fan, everyone's getting dirty, and Detective Brady ain't nowhere to be found. You probably don't have your badge on you, but you definitely should have used that long-ass necklace you're wearing to tie Brady's wrists behind his back instead of letting the bull stomp out of one china shop and most likely right into another.
Who da best man? Who da best man? Sami da best man! That girl was all about Eric on Friday's episode and I loved it. The My Little Pony hair, dominatrix cheerleader outfit, and those shoes she was wearing that looked like something out of 300 notwithstanding, Sami didn't make all the drama about her. Rather than jumping to an immediate conclusion then proceeding to climb Kristen to tear her head off, she was all about protecting her twin. The second Brady started pummeling Eric, Sami dove right into the thick of things (I'm too lazy to make a dick joke here) to break it up. Speaking of sibling loyalty...
You know it's a dark, dark Days when I'm begging EJ to stop talking, but that's just what I was doing. It's a stretch that EJ would risk what he has with Sami to protect Kristen from such a serious crime, one that would no doubt hurt Sami and their children so irreparably, but to go to the lengths he went to on Friday's episode to keep Eric from publicly accusing Kristen of rape almost had my arm coming out of its socket. I totally understood EJ wanting to run after Brady when he went storming out of the church after Kristen, but I couldn't get behind EJ trying to shut Eric up, and I hate when the writers have me not wanting to get behind EJ. Because EJ's behind.
EJ deciding to keep Kristen's secret just doesn't make sense to me, and not in a "No! EJ, how could you?!" kind of way. It just seems really tacked on. EJ and Sami siding with their respective siblings in the aftermath of the wedding disaster would have been conflict enough. EJ has had his problems with Eric's attitude, but he doesn't really know him well enough to want him "knocked off his pedestal", as he told Kristen. I'm still not sure how EJ went from not wanting to lose Sami by lying to her again to EJ practically throwing Eric over his shoulder to carry him and his accusations as far away from the church as possible. It all happened way too fast for it to make sense.
Oh, Brady. I know you're a man in love, but open those beautiful baby blues of yours and see yourself some sense. Is there a worse liar on the planet than Eric? No. Every emotion that boy feels flickers across his face like cherries on a slot machine. It's highly improbable that the priest would be able to hide having sex with your fiancee. You're dumb, but even you'd know if something like that had happened. Eric is that awful at lying. Did Eric look like he knew what the hell was going on when Motel 69 was playing on the monitor? No. Do you owe Eric the benefit of the doubt after all he's done for you, Brady? You certainly do, you bonehead.
Dude, what the fuck? You don't just leave in the middle of a job like that. It's not like you're a doctor or hospital administration or anything like that. Know your place, man.
Kristen wore that dress better than Jem ever did.
I don't know how Eileen Davidson did it, but Kristen DiMera raped a priest and emotionally leveled the city of Salem and I still felt terrible for her when the wedding blew up in her face. When Brady was chasing her around the DiMansion living room, I was still yelling, "RUN, GIRL! RUN!" Eileen Davidson, you are a brilliant actress and I'm going to miss the hell out of you. Please don't stay gone for too long this time, okay?
I haven't cried watching an episode of Days in a while, and I'm not referring to the tears of joy I cried when Cameron announced that he was leaving town. Eric's pain and confusion, evident every second he was on screen, was really something. Even Alex's eyes teared up when a beaten and bruised Eric suddenly looked like a lost little boy drowning in his vestments after Brady, Sami and EJ had left. It was like looking into the sun - you look straight into it, knowing it's going to hurt, but you're looking at the sun, man, and it's so beautiful, so fuck science. Yes, this storyline is ridiculous, but fuck science, man. What an incredible performance from Greg Vaughan. He reached right into my chest and plucked my heart out. I'm going to let him hold onto that baby for a while. Like I have a choice after Friday's episode.
In conclusion, here's a screencap of Possessed Marlena's very unexpected cameo on Thursday's episode.