Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Staring at Doors

Two days in a row. What the what.


Rafe...Rafe.  Hm...Rafe.  Let's talk about Sami instead, shall we?

Sami is a bad mother when she's not with Rafe.  Sami is a whore when she's not with Rafe.  Sami deserves every bad thing that happens to her when she's not with Rafe.  Sami is only a threat to Rafe's sister's well-being when she's not with Rafe.  Sami's children are doomed to a life of abject misery when she's not with Rafe.  When, oh when will Sami realize that the key to her salvation lies in Rafe's enchanted spooge.  

I'm sorry.  That was gross.  Moving on.


A couple of my wishes have come true.  Will is back in EJ's orbit, Sonny and Will are getting the same kind of writing any other decent soap couple would get, including the viable romantic interloper and shower sex fantasies, and Will seems to have a relationship with both his parents simultaneously again.  My only qualm is similar to the one I have with Abby.  Will has called out more than one person now for hinting at that thing Gabi did  that he seems to want to know about, but apparently not enough to follow through with actually finding out.  

I understand beats have to play out, blah blah blah, but I do wish that someone could explain to me why everyone has to keep this secret in the first place.  Chad agreed not to testify to what Gabi did in court.  I don't know why that's supposed to stop him from telling anyone.  Both EJ and Sonny know the big secret.  What's keeping them from telling anyone?  Seriously, maybe I'm missing something.  Let me know if I am, okay?

Back to Will.  

Will is moving so effortlessly between being thrilled about impending fatherhood, panicking over Nick's machinations (without the Lucas-level histrionics), and being heartbroken over Sonny.  Chandler Massey is working overtime, and I'm enjoying every minute of it.


I'm just going to lump these three together because they're all bugging me for very similar reasons.  Let's start with Maggie.

I'm going to just have to accept that Maggie is in love with her son for whatever reason, to the point where it's become creepy.  Roy and Lilly Dillon creepy.  Maggie, your dopey son is in his forties now.  I can understand you wanting to impart a little advice on him now and then, but lines need to be drawn.  If your dumb 40-something son can't maneuver a relationship and whatever drama happens to come along in whatever form, your son has no business being in a relationship at all.  I know the writers want to give Maggie something to do, but try harder.  Give the woman a job.  Something as far away from the hospital as possible.  Poor Anne has enough to deal with over there.

I know Days is trying to rope in younger viewers, but giving Marlena a positively juvenile role in a storyline that's making less and less sense as it progresses ain't the way to do it.  She's in her mid-sixties but today she was taunting Kristen like a child.  I was waiting for her to break out into "Judy's Turn to Cry".  Marlena, you were waving John in front of the face of a woman sleeping with Brady.  I know you think you won, but...

Kristen says what everyone is thinking.

Why do Sami's relatives still insist on trying to sell Rafe and Sami to each other?  Hope, do you remember watching Rafe and Sami's sister squelching in the safehouse?  Both safehouses, while Marlena practically danced a celebratory jig in the background with her thumbs up in the air?  Safe is farting dust.  It's over.  Let's move on.  If you think Rafe is that magnificent, maybe you should make a play for him yourself.  That is, if you can pry him away from...


I'm trying to figure out how I feel about Kate sleeping with Rafe.  Actually, wait.  I enjoyed that.  What I didn't enjoy were the subtle hints of Rafe's ick rapidly invading the surface of Kate's skin like a symbiote.  I could practically hear the fabric of his trousers tenting when Kate told him she'd been blackmailed into marrying Stefano.  "A damsel in DiMera distress?  Wait. Let me walk you home.  I just...need a second here.  Thanks."  As expected, his reaction to Kate declaring that Stefano turned out to be the great love of her life was dismissive.

So long as Kate can remain the strong, scheming, sexy vixen that she is, I'm happy.  One of the reasons I was actually looking forward to all these battle lines being drawn around Will and Gabi's baby drama is because we all know what Kate is capable of when a member of her family is in danger of getting screwed over.  My fear is that with Rafe in the picture, she's not going to be firing on all cylinders, and that would really, really suck.


Do Daniel and Jennifer really need another roadblock at this point?  I mean Lucas is the father of one of the stars of the leading storyline right now.  I like seeing Will and Lucas putting their heads together to try to figure out who's getting ready to blackmail them, but they're kind of in a vacuum.  Will is in high demand right now, so when he's not around, are we going to get to see Lucas doing some solo sleuthing, or am I going to have to watch him interfering in the relationship of a sister he doesn't even appear to be very fond of for the next couple of weeks?

Did you execute a double facepalm when Lucas went from his spot-on deduction that Nick could be behind the text message to trying to talk Will into thinking EJ should be their main suspect, or was that just me?


In conclusion, here are a couple of pictures of Jennifer and Chloe staring and smiling at doors that have been closed in their faces.

See you tomorrow, guys.  I think.


  1. Never apologize for any sentence that contains the words "Rafe's enchanted spooge". It must be enchanted because it robs Salem's hard boiled women of their self-esteem. Thanks be to the soap gods (and relentless Ejami fans everywhere) that Sami is finally with the man she loves and who loves her unconditionally. I also worry for Kate. And I worry for myself because I haven't been quick enough to F.F. through the entire May December fuck buddy sequences. The mind wipe process hasn't been perfected yet. Love this blog so much.

  2. Your assessment of Maggie and Dan's relationship was perfect!! He is a grown ass man, who doesn't seem incapable of getting the girl (Kate, Chloe, Jen, Chelsea, Nicole, etc.)Having his mom meddle just makes him look pathetic. But then again, the whole story is pathetic, so I guess in a way it makes sense.

    Loved your blog, as always. :)

  3. Great blog, as usual, Diggy!

    I had a long comment typed up, but it got lost somehow, :( so I'll just leave with this.

    Now that Rafe is free of Sami's "basket of crap," as GG so charmingly put it last year, would it be too much to ask that he go do his job at the SPD? No? Oh yeah, I forgot that he got a promotion for arresting a man for a crime that wasn't even committed. I guess that priests all over Salem have to fear getting bashed over the head with large wooden crosses without Rafe on the case.