Like EJ and Sami

Today something changed.  In the blink of an eye, talk of EJ and Sami went from "Why can't they write EJ and Sami like [insert epic grey couple here]?" to "Why can't they write [insert soap couple with amazing potential here] like EJ and Sami?"

Let's get all the other stuff out the way first, though.  I'm not going to open the show with the best song.

KATE

Rafe's dick must be the size of a cricket bat and spits out quarters when you yank on it.  It's the only explanation I can come up with for why Kate was kissing Gabi's ass in the hospital yesterday.  I'm serious.  There's absolutely no reason why Kate shouldn't know what's going on as far as Will and the custody stuff is concerned.  Rafe is an idiot, so I get why he's so out of touch with Nick's sleaziness.  Rafe never questions his judgement, even though it fails him again, and again, and again.  Kate, though, has no reason to give Nick the benefit of the doubt.  She's spent more time comforting Gabi and trying to get on Nick's good side in the past couple of weeks than she's spent catching up with her own son and grandson combined.  She accused Sami of being a crazy bitch for insisting on Gabi taking a paternity test.  This is not Kate.  I'm glad she's getting some sex, but Kate has sex. Kate doesn't let the sex have her.

WILL AND SONNY

Speaking of suddenly looking and acting like a moron - I'm a little disappointed that Sonny has to practically put on a puppet show to get Will to see that Nick is playing him.  At the very least, though, Will is being more naive than stupid here.  Will is trying so hard to protect his daughter from having a childhood not unlike the one he had to endure with Sami and Lucas as parents that he's walking on eggshells around Nick and Gabi.  It's almost like he was trying to show his parents how it's done, which is pretty much how he got  himself into this mess - trying to do the exact opposite of what Sami was telling him.  I hate what's happening to poor Will, but I love Sami being right.  Mother's Day is coming up.  Someone owes someone some flowers.

ERIC

Someone needs to dust these scenes for Tomlin's prints because Eric just wasn't Eric today.  Rafe is a stand-up guy?  The guy who told you less than two days ago that he was going to throw Johnny Suede into a cell and there was fuck-all you could do about it?  The same guy who stumbled into your office drunk and tried to lure Sister Nicole out into the night with the promise of dirty martinis?  This is the stand-up guy you want your sister to take back?  To make matters worse, he's warning Sami about giving EJ another chance when he's got Mary Magdalene doing his paperwork and he's just started a program aimed at giving prison convicts a second lease on life.  Of course my favourite (not really) bit was when Eric was making that snarky remark about evil ol' EJ while pocketing the giant cheque he wrote him.  The ridiculousness reeked of Tomlin.  The next time you lock him up, Days, just lose the key completely.  Have it melted down into fillings or something.

CHAD

With everyone living less than five minutes away from everyone else in Salem, and able to walk on two legs (with the exception of Rafe who, along with both legs, also drags his knuckles along the ground), I don't understand why Chad should even consider moving into the DiMansion.  Is Days trying to free up another set?  I'm all for seeing more Chad, but something tells me that won't be the case.  They say that when you're lost, the best thing to do is to just sit still and wait for someone to find you.  Chad, stay where you are and hopefully Will's story will come looking for you.  You should be a key player in that thing. Dude can't catch a break.

KRISTEN

"Remember one thing: the DiMeras are born struggling with the concept of goodness.  Personally, I think that's what makes us interesting."  

Right on, Kristen.  Right on.

CARRIE BRADY'S LITTLE SISTER

I'm still waiting for Sami to tell her family to fuck off and invite Rafe over as a guest of honour for a circle jerk if they like him so much.  Maybe she's saving that for when she and EJ walk down the aisle together.  Who knows.  All I know is that, once again, there was that sour whiff of Tomlin in the air when she was telling Eric she was ready to move forward with EJ without mentioning the big L-word once.  Also, suddenly it became all about Rafe.  Instead of wanting to be with EJ for all the reasons we already knew that she's finally been vocalizing these past few weeks, she was talking about the reasons she didn't want to be with Rafe.  The scene was...icky.  Is she still afraid of being judged by her self-righteous, hypocritical family, or is Tomlin just having a really tough time letting go?  Both?  

Ah, well.  Nevermind all that.  Because once Sami was back at the office after that unfortunate, unsavoury run-in with Rafe, we got...

SAMI GENE BRADY

This is the grown up Sami I've wanted forever.  She's gorgeous and she knows it.  She's got brains, and she uses them.  When she finds herself powerless, she manufactures her own.  This is who she is.  I know it, you know it, EJ's always known it, and now Sami knows it, too.  It's about fucking time.  

VARGAS

Why, hello.  

Days is just going to keep doing this to me, isn't it?  Teasing me with attractive actors who will either die or end up in a prison far, far away within a few short months.  Meanwhile, Gabi is like an open wound that never scabs.

EJ AND SAMI

For me, this was more than just an "I love you" or an "I trust you".  Those are both fine and dandy, and I'm thrilled those six little words are out there now (even if the church hasn't received the memo yet).  But this was about Sami embracing her dark side, and letting it drive the skull of EJ's dark side into that headboard again and again, and again.   God, was it ever tremendous!

That look on EJ's face when Sami confirmed with a delicious little smirk and those sparkly blue eyes of hers that her words meant exactly what he thought they meant was just about the sexiest thing ever.  Eve, apples, and trouser snakes! Yes, yes, YES!

IN CONCLUSION

In conclusion, I hope that if we get to see Eric tomorrow, he'll be back to his sweet, sexy, doe-eyed self.  I hated not liking him today.  It just felt so unnatural.  I also hope Gabi spends the next few days drinking water and sleeping off screen because she's getting harder and harder to take every time she pops up now.  And last but not least, I hope that if Sonny ever gets really sad he'll at least have the good sense to impregnate a girl who has two brain cells to rub together.