Monday, January 24, 2011

So Boring. No, really.

I gotta tell ya, my heart just wasn't in it today.  This episode was pretty wretched, and judging by the underwhelming promo for February up on the NBC site, we're in for a rough couple of months.

I'm sort of hoping that if EJ is going dark, he goes just dark enough to wrap another belt around his knuckles and give Rafe a sweet, sweet buckle-beating a la 2006 EJ.


Maggie is wearing 50 Cent's coat

Worst fake blood ever

Hope has a quick little Days' dream in which Bo stumbles back onto the boat bruised up and bleeding.


I think this is by-far the worst fake blood I've ever seen on any show or movie EVER, and that includes Reptilicus.


Jennifer has a long, luxurious flashback

Jen flashes back to her conversation with Hope, during which she discovered and denied that the man she barely knows might be involved in this organ snatching tomfoolery.


Ben snaps her out of it.  I don't know why, because it just means that she's going to start talking to him, and who the hell wants that?

Misplaced "sexy" music

Maggie tries to convince Victor that he's done the right thing by bringing Vivian back to civilization (or Salem's version of civilization).

"You're a better person for rescuing Vivian from that island."

"A better person in what way?"

Maggie asks where they're going to be having their indecent dinner, and Victor informs her that he was thinking they'd have it at the Kiriakis mansion.

Then they play that "sexy" guitar twang.  And it's just...un...good.

Rafe & Johnny have a sleepover

Johnny asks if Rafe will stay overnight in the hospital with he and Sami.


This is an amazing opportunity for Rafe to rub his scent glands all over Johnny in his sleep and perhaps  pee around the bed.  The kid's running out of body parts to wrap in official FBI gear.

Rafe expresses to Daniel how happy he is that Johnny will be going home soon.  Dr. Jonas tells him that it's good that Johnny will get to pick which home he's going to and that EJ and Sami can't use him as their "battleground" anymore.

"Well, you're not gonna have a problem with Sami."

Rafe is like the father Sami's always wanted.  Insert sexy guitar twang here.

Another GG can't act joke

Daniel asks Rafe if EJ is going to behave.

"Well, according to reports, he's a changed man."

"Doesn't look like you actually believe that."

I don't know about that, Daniel.  GG is just as incapable of looking like he believes it as he is of looking like he doesn't.

Winter wear is all about layering

You can't tell from this picture, but Nicole is wearing a big, blue poncho over a big, blue cardigan.

It's like Gloria Vanderbilt skinned Cookie Monster.


 I want to start a "Less Rafe, More Marco" campaign so badly.

Set it and forget it

Stefano tells Marco that this whole Rafe/Efar thing needs to run smoothly to ensure that it will keep him out of his family's life "permanently".


Just let Marco kill him already!  Jesus H. Christ, Stefano!  Come ON!  Have you learned nothing from James Bond movies or the two hundred year history of this show?  Damned if I don't really hate this show right now!

Check off another plot-point met

Chad runs into Gabi - at the Java Cafe! - and Gabi decides to launch into an illogical spiel about how important family is, telling Chad that his dead mother wouldn't be upset with him for wanting to embrace his recently-discovered Dimera roots.


Vivian's Back!

"Hello, Vivian.  You're looking...good."

"I'd say the same thing to you but we both know I'd be lying."


Wow.  That one was spooky.

Can I just say that I love that Vivian showed up with that leaf still clinging to her hair for dear life?

Daniel's pants

Okay.  I know it's just the drawstring from his scrubs, but this really begs for the intervention of someone in wardrobe.

Oh, hey.  When did Dr. Ben get his cellphone back from Nathan?  Who the hell knows, right?

Would you like some coffee with that sugar?

Daniel fills half his cup up with sugar, which he's going to need if he's going to get through a conversation with Jen.


Okay, seriously.  Is anyone else finding Jen really, really, mind-numbingly dull?  At one point Daniel points out to Jen that Ben (ugh) seems to really be interested in her, and vice-versa.  This is a common occurrence on Days.  There's no natural chemistry whatsoever between two characters, so the writers have to make up for that by formulating some faux-chemistry to appear in the dialogue somehow.

Hmm.  I'm willing to bet the same two characters that just popped into my head just popped into yours aswell.

Rafe has absolutely nothing to talk about but EJ

After Sami decides to be a dish rag and not have Sydney ready to go home when she's supposed to, Nicole tells Rafe that EJ said it's alright for Sami to just drop her off at the DiMansion later.  Rafe is suspicious (as usual) that EJ is being so generous.  Nicole says that EJ has some business to deal with right now anyways, so it's not that big a deal.

Rafe muses aloud (unfortunately for us) what sort of business could be more important to EJ than his children.  EJ can't catch a fucking break.

Vivian is de-leafed, dressed, accessorized, and over at Maggie's in record-time


Good going, Days.

Why is this picture so blurry?

Because this is a picture of a Jen scene being fast-forwarded.


Would I watch this episode?

Hell, no.  I mean, I always love seeing Marco but HOLY CRAP.  The episode was so incredibly boring, I actually had to keep pulling hairs out of my arm to keep from falling asleep and even getting through this commentary.  There was some Bo/Hope stuff I barely touched on just because it was so ridiculous.  Bo frees himself, but instead of escaping to find Hope or some other form of back-up, he decides to stick around to badger Warden Jane with questions.  Then a big guy named Burt shows up and suddenly Bo is tied up again, everyone's covered in Tang, and we're back where we started. 

The Vivian/Victor/Maggie scenes are always good for a larf, but I'm actually getting tired of this whole Magic thing now.  Like all the other storylines on this show, it's getting way past its expiration date.  It's sort of like when Saturday Night Live tries to take a seven-minute sketch and turn it into a two-hour movie.  Except instead of a two-hour movie, Days stretches a seven-minute idea over eight or nine months.


  1. Diggy, you had me rolling with this one because I also had the misfortune to watch this episode. I agree with everything you have said.

    1. I will join the "more Marco, less Rafe" campaign in a second flat! The only good thing about this ridiculous Rafe double plan is that we're seeing more Marco (I love Marco). Unfortunately, we have to withstand the boredom of Rafe X2 to get that. It's not worth the sacrifice!
    2. "GG is just as incapable of looking like he believes it as he is at looking like he doesn't." You hit the nail on the head there. Pretty bad when the other actor in a scene has to point out what Rafe's character is feeling since GG is incapable of doing it himself!
    3. I agree that if EJ goes dark, he should go dark a la 2006 Patrick belt beating. Someone really needs to beat the shit out of Rafe and kill him! Sheesh, Stephano would be performing a public service getting rid of Rafe. I'd send him an award!
    4. I'm betting that you noticed the enormous shoulder pads that Viv was sporting today. too. I haven't seen or worn anything like that since the 80s (Thank god).
    5. WTF at Chad and Gaby scene. Guess they had to insert as much Hernandez wisdom as possible. . .
    6. Yay to seeing Java Cafe for the first time in a long time. I have gotten so bored with the repeated use of the same half dozen sets. I'd rather eat at the Kiriakis masoleum than the Brady Pub if I lived in Salem.

    I won't bore myself or anyone else with talking about this ridiculous show any longer . . .

    As always Diggy, I look forward to your snark everyday and always read it after I've seen the show which makes it even funnier.

    All hail the Queen of Snark!


  2. thanks Diggy, Less Rafe, More Marco!!!

  3. Diggy this is one of your best IMO. I couldn't stop laughing. Ok I stopped when I came to losers picture but then you had me LMAO again. Didn't see this epi and don't want to. Your PBP are so much better. And I am totally for more Marco less Rafe or even better no Rafe.

  4. Yes, Rafe needs to be killed. Stefano needs to watch Sopranos or any of the Godfathers. Kill him!

    "It's like Gloria Vanderbilt skinned Cookie Monster." LMAO she's channeling the smurfs as well.

  5. Thanks Diggy Your make me laugh this stuff is just so ridiculous I am letting you be my guide through this stuff so thanks for making me laugh

  6. Shouldn't Rafe be at the Cop shop doing his cop job or something??
    How come Sami is not tethered to Johnny's bed?!! Oh...look at me suffer drama is over, let someone else with the kids - I am out!! I have seen Nicole hanging out more w Johnny than his own mother!!!
    And what is with the BLUE wardrobe latetly!!!??
    Cookie monster??? Add Grover and the rest of them...Fuzzy and blue....

    Peace Diggy - ...NovelaF

  7. Thanks, Diggy. You have saved me from yet another bad show.

  8. Diggy, love your snark. Thank you for doing this!

    And I so agree "More Marco, less Rafe!"

    So glad it looks like it isn't Marco that will be molded to be Rafe. Thank you for that, writers. . .

  9. Diggy thanks for another great review. I make skip this one.

    As to everybody wearing blue, I read an article about it. It's done deliberately because they think it shows up well on camera.

    February is going to be the longest one on record. March may be even worse.