Friday's episode was actually so dull that at one point I found myself using my fingernails to clean all the nooks and crannies in my television remote.
Vivian is going to tear Gus' head off...
...the same way she got all those bottles open, if he doesn't give her the last couple of ounces of wine.
Maggie's Indecent Proposal Pt.II
You'd have to think very highly of yourself to offer your company (in a non-sexual capacity of course - Maggie's a lady, after all) to someone in exchange for reintroducing a vengeful, insane, uterus-robbing, sarcophagus-stuffing, booze-sponge back into their petri dish.
New moms need to make sure they take some time for themselves
Whether it be a few stolen moments with a hot cup of tea and a good book, or a visit to the Sun Showers Spray-Tan Symposium.
What is Kate wearing?
It's like a pierrot doll is trying to climb out of her vest.
The Cold, Bony Hands of Death
Hope attacks Nathan like Nosferatu in the night thinking he's involved in all this organ wackiness
After Nathan explains the cellphone mix-up to Hope, she makes up for ambushing him in his bed with a warm, fuzzy, Brady hug.
Personally I'd want her to make it up to me by hand-washing the sheets I just crapped in.
Someone help me out - Where is Nathan sleeping these days?
Warden Jane calls Stefano to explain to him that there have been a few cock-ups in their plans (surprise, surprise). Stefano doesn't want to hear it.
"Why don't you save your excuses for your memoir?"
The Last of the Summer Wine
Vivian and Gus continue to struggle for the last bit of wine. Finally the bottle hits the ground and the last few drops trickle out of it. Vivian falls to her knees, looking as though she's about three seconds away from burying her face in the sand and sucking out whatever wine she can get from it. Suddenly a helicopter is heard in the distance. The door opens and a ladder drops from it.
"It's Brady Black! If he's come to take us off this island it'll probably be in BODY BAGS!"
Chloe Lane-Black-Horton-Jonas: Two Steps Forward. A Bus-Ride Back.
Chloe runs into Daniel after taking Parker to get his shots. The whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" approach to things seems to be rather beyond her, like alot of things are these days.
She starts snapping at Daniel, telling him the reason Parker is crying (aside from the pain and shock of having a bunch of sharp things inexplicably being poked under his skin) is because he misses his home and his father. "You catch more flies with honey" is evidently also a foreign concept here. It comes as no surprise when Dr. Jonas takes the nearest patient health concern out of there, leaving Chloe alone and in tears.
I might have sympathized with her if Days hadn't spent the past few months completely desensitizing me to any and all female displays of emotion.
Tripping The Light Fantastic
Victor lets Maggie know that Vivian is being rescued from the island as he speaks, and he starts expressing how much he's looking forward to spending an evening with her, going so far as to use the term "Tripping the light fantastic".
"We are not going dancing, Victor."
"Did I say we were?"
"Tripping the light fantastic?"
"I didn't mean that literally."
A Quick Trip
Kate tells Philip he needs to find a way to take Parker from Chloe.
"You want me to take Chloe's kid from her? That's about as bad as it gets, Mom. She'll go insane."
"It'll be a quick trip."
Remember when Kate explained why she called Sami the night of the shooting? Remember all that stuff about how Kate didn't wish the pain of a mother losing her child on anyone? Even someone like Sami?
No, huh? Me neither.
Horton's Brother Hears a Who
Philip hears some sort of thumping sound on his way out of the DiMansion and, of course, thumping sounds are always something to be suspicious about in Salem.
Taking "A Love Match" Literally
First Sami starts cinching Rafe's plaid shirts around her waist with purple belts, and now Stefano and Kate are dressing to match. Why, Days? Why?
Daniel just can't cut a break today
Daniel is home from work and probably desperate for some alone-time. No such luck. First Carly shows up to speak to Melanie. He informs her that Melanie isn't home and is just about to close the door when Carly sweeps past him and into the apartment. The door isn't shut again for more than a few seconds before Chloe is knocking on the other side of it.
Melanie steals a joke from Sex & The City
"I don't know why they call it 'morning sickness' when it lasts all day."
Desensitized or not, stupid is stupid
Jen feels betrayed by a man with whom she's shared lukewarm feelings, a couple of cups of coffee, and a plate full of pastries.
Philip's Half-Baked, Badly-timed Good Intentions
Philip runs into Chloe at the Brady Pub. Yeah. I know.
Chloe tells Philip she's at the pub because she didn't want to be stuck at home with a cranky baby, but now everyone in the joint is giving her dirty looks because Parker won't stop crying. This seems to be all the invitation Philip needs to begin putting his mother's plan into motion. Philip has a sweet little moment with his son, and Chloe actually cracks a smile.
Instead of quitting while he's ahead, Philip steps in it cement shoes by suggesting to Chloe that she consider changing Parker's name, since it's actually Daniel's mother's maiden name. Chloe freaks out and leaves. Philip stares after her with a giant "What'd I say?" banner across his face being held up by the push-pins in his dimples.
Ever wonder what Chloe looks like naked?
Just imagine Chloe's head on Jennifer's body right now.
Would I watch this episode?
Meh. There's a Nathan/Melanie almost-kiss, but the rest of the episode is so dull that I'd need an actual Nathan/Melanie kiss to make up for it. As usual, I thank the soap gods for Vivian and Gus.
I've been enjoying Shawn C's performance lately. He's really been getting Dr. Jonas' feelings of betrayal, heartache, and emotional turmoil across with very few words, and I wish Days would make the most of this sort of talent more often, instead of having everyone screaming their heads off all the time a la Sami or Stephanie. Long story short - I've really come to love Daniel, and that's all on Shawn.
Now I just need him to get a haircut, and things'll be all good.