Friday, January 14, 2011

God, Almighty! Make it stop!

Another day.  Another Days.

I had been anticipating this episode for a while now - the so-called "truce" between Sami and EJ (which looks like it's going to last about...hmm...a day).  I'm still not buying what Cordiglay is selling.  I'm trying my best to see things objectively, but it takes alot of energy to do so, and frankly I could put that energy towards something more constructive, like binding together my collection of haikus about Michael Caine, or sharpening the blade in my pill-splitter.

Because the show is in a great deal of disarray, I'm having a hard time enjoying even moments like today's Stefano/Kate reunion.  I keep fearing I'm going to get all cozy with my adorable little dark-hearted love monkeys again and the writers are going to yank the rug back out from under me within the week.  There's no stability on this show - not even within a single episode.  One second Sami is crying in EJ's arms, the next she's recoiling from him as though every pore on his body suddenly started oozing pus (frankly, his pores could start oozing acid and it wouldn't put me off one bit).  One minute she's moved to tears by EJ's prayers and the next she's throwing them in his face.

The truth of the matter is that TPTB aren't trying to win me over so much as they're trying to convince me I'm wrong in thinking that EJ deserves an apology from the woman who shot him in the head, healthy children who adore him, a shoulder to cry on, and five minutes without someone telling him he's a heartless monster. Today is just more of the same and TPTB can beat me senseless with all of this "a boy needs his mother" crap but this witness ain't changing her story.

Days stylists are on a very strict budget

This has to be the case because it's the only plausible excuse for why Philip looks as though he's wearing one of Victor's suits, accessorized with a paisley tie that's far too wide for the 21st century.  The only other explanation is that whoever dressed JKJ for this episode was trying to stretch the elastic of Johnny's eyepatch to keep it from pinching the boy by wearing it all morning while he/she worked, and ended up accidentally grabbing something from John Aniston's wardrobe rack.

Nathan appears as though by magic

While Phillip is insisting to a strategically placed Phelanie wedding picture that their marriage is not over, Nathan materializes in the Kiriakis livingroom like some sort of spikey-haired Gabriel.  Presumedly the coat and bag he had with him on the pier before transport are now floating somewhere in the heavenly cosmos  Or maybe Henderson took care of them.  Who knows.  It's a good thing Days viewers have imaginations, otherwise NBC would have to shell out a few bucks to hire some continuity people.

Where the shit did the penguin come from?

Seriously, it's almost the same size as Johnny.  I'm surprised the orderlies didn't wheel the damn thing into the operating room and perform eye surgery on it by mistake.

What are the odds?

Kate accidentally bumps into Stefano on the pier.  Like two sneaky ships passing in the night.

EJ just doesn't understand

Does anyone else remember that interview GG did where he said Rafe would "back off" and give EJ and Sami some breathing room to deal with their child's health concerns together?  Well, when the crap is that going to happen?  And, fine - the real Sami Brady is still out to (a five month long) lunch.  But give us a freaking break already.

Sami thanks EJ for letting her see Johnny.  You walk right into it thinking that she's finally going to cut the guy a break, but no.  EJ tells her she doesn't need to thank him and she sarcastically tells him that apparently she does.  EJ snips back at her, she bursts into tears and in comes Rafe barking like he just caught EJ putting gum in her hair.  Once EJ leaves, not in the mood to mix it up with Donnie and Marie, Sami falls into Rafe's arms sobbing, "He just doesn't understand!"

I hope her black little nails start growing backwards into her fingers.

Why do they always answer the door?

No, really.

After not being able to avoid noticing that Melanie is approximately the width of one of my thighs, I randomly began to wonder - why the hell do these people always answer the door when there's no doubt an angry, crazy person on the other side who wants to tear into them with teeth, tongue and nails?

Stephanie takes off her jacket.  How do we know she's going to kick some ass?  Because on her way over she evidently dropped Chrissie Hynde like a sack of dirt and stole her clothes. And prior to this incident, who's kicked more ass than rock legend Chrissie Hynde?

Judging from the look on Melanie's face, I'm willing to bet she has.

James Scott doesn't need synthesizer music

This scene did not need to be backed up with Ken Corday's casio keyboard.  James Scott can stand alone.  In fact, I found the music distracting.  When the camera pulled back, I was half-expecting to see Tony Hadley from Spandau Ballet standing there, but instead it just turned out to be Sami.  Colour me disappointed.  Damn you, Corday.

Stefano tells Kate about Johnny's other eye

"How much more can that little boy take?"

Nuts to the kid.  How much more can I take.

Tough times ahead for Days' editing crew

TPTB are trying to keep Will, Gabi and Chad scenes from looking like something out of Gulliver's Travels by not having him appear next to Greg and Marsha within the same shot.  If the writers are banking on a romantic triangle with these three, the camera folk are really going to have their work cut out for them.  Chad is taller than EJ, Will is shorter than Lucas, and Gabi is shorter than Sami.  Chadwick is going to have to make all his moves sitting down and Gabi's going to have to start lugging a soap box around.  This should be fun.

I smell a chem-test

Rafe and Nicole.  Soap gods help me - I like them together.  Particularly when, to their mutual horror, they realize that Sami might be in the chapel bludgeoning EJ with a chalice while he holds up a cross and splashes holy water at her.

Melanie channels real-life sense

Stephanie accuses Melanie of ruining her life.

"Philip fathered Chloe's baby. Your grandmother switched the paternity results. But I've destroyed your life."

Am I the only one who gets the impression that there's one or two writers mucking up and another writer quickly following closely behind them with a mop, bucket and psychiatrist's chaise lounge?

Sami passive-agressively sticks it to EJ. Again.

After EJ catches her eavesdropping on his prayers, Sami invites EJ to listen in on hers since, "it's only fair." EJ, suspicious of her motives - and with good reason - decides to stay.

The synthesizer music swells.

"It's me.  Sami.  We both know how long it's been since my last confession..."


She launches into all the reasons why Johnny deserves to keep his sight...

"He doesn't complain.  You know how most kids whine and complain..."

Yes.  Some adults do, too.

"...I know that Johnny can be twice the person that his father is, or that I could ever dream of being.  I know that I am no paragon of virtue..."


"...and EJ isn't, either."

Of course.

Philip punches Nathan

It's hair-larious.

Nathan is a cheeky bugger

After Philip uses his fist to apply lipstick to the corner of Nathan's mouth, Nathan announces that he isn't going to hit Philip back.

"I'd much rather you watch me put Melanie back together."

He's tilting to the left because his other ball just dropped.

Sami is still a cow

After finding out that Johnny made it out of surgery alright, and that it appears the cancer might be gone for good this time around, EJ gets to be happy and relieved for about five seconds before Sami decides to do God's work here on earth by making sure EJ wasn't just praying out of his ass earlier.

"Well, EJ.  He's out of surgery.  Are you still going to hold up your end of the bargain?"

Actually, wait. I'm getting the food chain all mixed up here, aren't I? EJ answers to God now. And God works for Sami.

Rafe still thinks the world revolves around he and Sami. Carly humours him.

EJ and Sami head into Johnny's room, leaving Rafe alone with Carly and Daniel. 

"I can't tell you what it meant to Sami and me that the two of you did this for Johnny."

Carly smiles.  "We're glad to do it."'s your job.

Carly gets shot down

Carly uses EJ and Sami's mutual decision to smooth things over between them for the sake of their child as a sort of Aesop's Fable, hinting to Daniel that perhaps they should try to do the same thing for the sake of their own child.  Daniel, determined to no longer be the dumbest person in Salem (after the past six or seven months he's got a helluva long climb up the ladder), sees right through the thinly veiled attempt to get back into he and Melanie's good graces.

"Melanie is not a little girl.  Whether she wants you in her life, or not...that's her decision."


Wrong kind of awkwardness

Tension between Gabi and Chad goes unnoticed by Will.  I'm disappointed that it's not the kind of tension I'm hoping for.  Will and Chad belong together.  Gabi's the Alma here.  Another Hernandez, another romantic hurdle on the road to true love.

Lexie fills Stefano in on what's been happening

"We won't know if Johnny can see until we take the bandages off."

Because Johnny, like most mere mortals, can't see through bandages.

Melanie accuses Stephanie and Caroline of playing god with people's lives

Stephanie snaps.

"Oh my GOD! I just love you playing the martyr."

To think - for about half a second I felt bad for Stephanie because no one wants anything to do with her.  I want my half a second back.

Our hero and heroine ride off into the general direction of wherever I'm guessing the sun
would be setting if Days could afford one

Kate offers to walk Stefano home and keep him company while he awaits news about his grandson.  He warily suggests to her that maybe they should leave things as they are. 

Kate tells him that she's not talking about moving back in.  She doesn't want to be alone right now, and suspects he doesn't either.  He smiles and offers her his arm and Reunited State walks off together.

Okay, okay.  Stefano and Kate got me a little misty-eyed.  Can't be helped.  I just love them too much.

I'm not even going to say that JS knocked all his scenes out of the ballpark, because I'm sure you get sick and tired of me sayi-- ah, what the hell.  James Scott knocked all his scenes out of the ballpark.  There.

I've almost entirely forgotten that Alison Sweeney can do far more than look smug, cry hysterically, and bury her snot and tear-lined face into stuffed animals, stuffed husbands and various items of children's clothing sobbing about how much she misses her children.  Alison Sweeney can do much better than this.  She's doing the best with what she's being given, but the fact that Sami is being such a rot in the crotch these days has rendered me completely uncaring of the great job Alison is doing with the material.  I feel absolutely nothing for Sami right now, except that I hope someone finds a baby soother, marinates it in whiskey, and corks her with it.

I'm not even going to touch the Carly/Daniel stuff.  Daniel is getting smarter while Carly is getting...Stephanier...?  I don't want to watch another woman throwing herself down at some guy's feet and begging for forgiveness.  Especially not Carly.


  1. Thanks for your DA Diggy...look forward to it no matter what time!
    Enjoy your humour and sarcasm.I truly am finding it hard to watch anymore with these hacks. I keep holding on thinking there will be a change but nothing!

  2. Oh's official. Your blog is DEFINITELY a high light of my day now. I'd tell you to get out of my head...but you have such a way of making what I'm thinking so much funnier than I thought it was that I've decided you're welcome to stay.

    Let me know if you need anything. ;)