Thursday, December 16, 2010

Today's episode probably could have been very irritating. was very irritating. The whole EJ vs. Sami thing is getting tiresome, but what I did love is that EJ definitely came off as being the more mature one. Not by a stretch, but progress is progress. I know it's only a matter of probably a day before the writers take EJ about ten steps back, but that's how they roll and we're all very used to it, I'm sure.

The whole episode was more of the same (surprise, surprise). The writers pulled out the script from the "Chloe convinces Melanie not to rat her out" scenes and handed out copies to JKJ and SC to work with. Caroline tells Stephanie that leaving town before Melanie can get her hooks into Nathan is the best thing for everyone. Sami and EJ yell at eachother and Rafe sticks his nose into the mix, making things worse as usual. Johnny goes on and on about wanting to go home with Sami. Blah blah blah-bliddy-blah.

The truth will come out...but for the love of God when?

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Philip insists that Melanie will not find out about his extra-curricular office-schtupping if Daniel only keeps it to himself.

"Trust me - secrets don't last forever," Daniel says.

Really? This one feels like it's going on and on...and on. It's like the Saw franchise except unimaginably more unbearable to watch.

Where to Begin: Pt. II

EJ, panicking over Johnny, accuses Sami of doing something to their son to be able to see him.

"What's the matter with you?!"

And then Sami does it again. The Reel.

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That's some good reeling. It's followed by a Sami slap. Lucky for EJ there isn't a gun, ceramic knick-knack or kitchen counter nearby.

"You are a sick son of a bitch, EJ!"

Right now I think poor Johnny is the sick son of a bitch.

"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to her."

Reaching back into yet another script, this time from James Scott's post-Sydnapping scenes, Phillip announces to Daniel that if he can just have another chance at not tripping and falling into Chloe's vagina (well...Daniel doesn't know whose vagina he stumbled into just yet), he will spend the rest of his life making up for his drunken mistake.

"If I could only take it back," Phillip intones dramatically, eyes looking upwards as though entreating both Daniel and the heavens for mercy.

"If I could only take it back? Do you know how lame that sounds?"

Yes, Daniel. We do.

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EJ calls Sami out for shooting him in the head

After Sami's reel-and-slap, EJ starts shouting at her about shooting the father of the son she's trying so hard not to hurt. I'd say something about the fact that EJ is shouting this in the middle of a hospital but who are we kidding? Everyone in town knows she did it but no one's doing a damn thing about it. EJ might as well dress up like Tommy Tune, have "You Shot Me in the Head" scored by Alan Menken and perform the entire shebang in the town square. But Days doesn't have the budget for that.

Anyways, I love when Sami expresses her disgust at his accusation that she'd hurt Johnny and EJ shouts, "I'm not the one with Munschausen by proxy!" Especially knowing that neither Sami nor Rafe probably even knows what "Munschausen" is. Wait...Johnny has food poisoning, too? When will it end?

Nate wants to make Stephanie happy

Stephanie tells Nathan she's been doing some wedding research and she found a church that would be just perfect for their special day - a four hundred year old church (approximately the last time we've seen a church on this show). Nathan tells Stephanie she can have anything she wants.

"Why are you so good to me?"

"I don't know. I must want to make you happy."

Lord knows why.

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Caroline does an impression of Melanie flirting

Caroline continues to pat Stephanie on the back for a job well-done. She tells Stephanie that leaving Salem with Nathan is a good idea because whenever Melanie flirts with him, it makes Caroline nervous.

And then Caroline does her impression of Melanie flirting and I want to stick my eyes with a couple of candy canes.

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Melanie really is just as dumb as her dad

Chloe rushes off (again) to try to do some damage control leaving Melanie and Carly alone to talk. Melanie is concerned that Chloe is constantly blaming herself for other people's problems. They chat about how they're both in agreement that the decision to keep Chloe's secret has been in everyone's best interest.

Neither Carly nor Melanie can make the connection between Chloe chewing her nails down to the quick when finding out Daniel tried to beat Phillip up, and Chloe having had a one-night stand with some "random guy". Carly, sweetheart - come on. What are you doing to me?

Even more befuddling is Melanie's reaction to this whole thing. Not only does she demonstrate no interest in finding out what the fight was about, she doesn't even seem all that interested in locating the her husband to see if he's alright.

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"Why aren't you more upset?" Carly asks. Melanie shrugs her shoulders.

Must be the 'ludes.

Rafe does some magic tricks

EJ tells Sami he needs to talk to her privately. Johnny doesn't want his mommy to leave, though. Rafe tells Johnny that he wants to show him some magic tricks, but he doesn't want his parents to see. Johnny eagerly lets EJ sweep Sami out into the hallway to see these magic tricks.

Sami is so thrilled with Rafe's wonderful way with Johnny that her eyes roll rapturously back into her head.

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"Works every time," Sami sighs happily.

Do that trick where you make all the kids disappear so you and Sami can horizontally celebrate your love.

Just when you think EJ is going to take Sami's head off

Once outside the hospital room, EJ tells Sami that for Johnny's sake they need to stop bickering. He expresses to her that he's been feeling guilty - if they hadn't been so consumed with all their fighting, they might have noticed something was wrong sooner.

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Sami looks a little confused, at which point EJ feels the need to repeat the word "guilty" and explain to her why he's been feeling this way. I can understand Sami's confusion. The concept of "guilt" has been rather beyond her these days.

What the hell is Nate wearing?

Well, let's see.

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He's wearing a salmon-coloured t-shirt over a blue, long-sleeved one. He's also wearing jeans that are an identical shade of blue. He looks like a superhero who got really drunk the night before and passed out before he could change out of his costume, then woke up late for work, threw a t-shirt on over it but was too hungover to notice he'd forgotten to put pants on before leaving the house.

Okay, maybe my imagination got away from me, but I call 'em as I see 'em.

What's the deal with doors?

After the truce EJ has called, he watches on looking like someone's tried to gut him with a scythe as Sami and Rafe have the warm family moment he's been denied for so long.

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Then Sami sobers him up quickly when he overhears her reminding Johnny of their secret code. Secret code. While the door is open. Yep. Again.


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EJ draws Sami and Rafe back out into the lobby and demands that they leave. Rafe and Sami start going on about the usual - EJ is the devil, blah blah blah. That's when Doctor Kim appears to tell the triangle that Johnny's test results are "not good".

Hm. Would I watch this episode? Well, it's hard to say. The other storylines were all filler. Things are still moving at the speed of slug.

There's some Bo stuff in the episode that I didn't bother with. Basically he has to explain to Julie, Ciara and Carly (all separately, of course) that he's going to be working on something so he has to disappear for a little while. Bo and I are not on good terms these days. Hiring Rafe, covering for Sami, trying to call out Abe and then dicking Carly around has really been my Bo-love's undoing.

Sami is a basket case today and I'm still having a rough time trying to scrape together even a grain of sympathy for her. As usual she's whining about how cruel EJ is being without taking into consideration that this whole thing might have all his nerve-endings screaming aswell. Even once he expresses his guilt and holds out a temporary olive branch, Sami speaks to him like she's satisfied that he's finally come to his senses, as though she'd already come to her own ages ago, which we haven't even seen a lick of.

Oh - remember that program description everyone was so upset about? The one about EJ "dragging" Sami away from Johnny? That's not at all how the whole thing went down. He did not drag Sami kicking and screaming from Johnny's bedside while Johnny cried hysterically for his mother. He asked she and Rafe to leave Johnny's room, then once they were all in the lobby, demanded that she and Rafe leave. The whole things was then interrupted by the doctor.

Yet another reason to take all these program descriptions and spoilers with a grain of salt.

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