Dec. 10 Day Ahead Commentary

So.

Today's episode was a strange one, and it was a tough one to derive amusement from, so I know I say this often, but I was really off my game today. And all the blue and lilac is really started to make me nauseous. I would kill a man to see someone wearing red on this show right now.

I'm not gonna lie to you. The EJ/Johnny scenes were tough to watch, as were the EJ/Sami scenes, mostly because they didn't make a lick of sense.

EJ, for the most part, has been doing really well. His dialogue has been reminiscent of the devilish EJ of 2007. He's not pining for Sami, but he seems to have accepted the fact that he loves her and there really isn't a damn thing he can do about that. The bullet that passed through his head managed to only graze the part of his brain that moves the heart, and his heart continues to beat rather relentlessly for his Samantha. In the house that Jack built.

Anyways, enough of all that. My point is that EJ has been EJ again, which is more than we can say for Sami who hasn't really been herself for quite some time now.

Today, though, we took about twelve steps back. EJ continues to speak to Johnny like nothing devastating is happening to the poor little guy, and Johnny ain't having any of it no more. So EJ decides that Johnny needs a little closure with his mother. He brings Sami in to initiate that.

At one point, Sami accuses EJ of being a sociopath for about the ten thousandth time. She also tries to explain to him that continuing to do what he's doing to Johnny is only going to make him as "bitter and dead inside" as EJ is. JS was playing it rather cool today, which I thought was interesting given that yesterday I was just commenting on how the words he was speaking to Johnny and Kate were much different than what his eyes were screaming. It makes me wonder if JS might be finding this all as off-putting and confusing as I do.

Since Days is so trigger happy with the flashbacks, I wouldn't have minded seeing a flashback of Nicole telling EJ the same thing on the pier the night of the shooting - that he was dead inside. There's been a complete about-face from EJ's first day out of the hospital when he told Stefano that he still loved Sami and didn't blame her for trying to shoot him. I understand that he's trying his damndest to harden his heart against Sami, but I'm not sure why he's doing it to his son. It doesn't make any sense. Way to go, writers! You've done it again!

Anyways, I'll stop being a drag now. Despite my frustration, I did indeed manage to find some highlights.

Detective Rafe Hernandez: Off to a fantastic start

The program description for today's eppy was "Rafe informs Sami that he's joined the Salem PD". That's not what happened.

Sami already knows that today is the day Rafe is off to sign the papers and make it all official. So while the usual rhetorical question is "where in the hell are we?" today we also ask ourselves "when in the hell are we?"

On his way to sign the papers, Rafe decides to swing by the Kiriakis mansion to "make a deal" with Victor.

After explaining to a not-terribly-interested Victor that he's about to join the Salem PD as a detective, he tells him that he's there to offer Mr. Kiriakis a deal.

"You know, stopping by my house to offer me a deal when you're on your way to joining the Salem Police Department...some people might question your devotion to the rule of law."

Yes! Thank you!

As usual, Rafe's deal basically involves delegating the gruntwork in his latest "cunning plan" onto someone else so that he can swing in on a vine at the last minute to receive the accolades on a job well-done.

He asks Victor to feed him any incriminating information about the DiMeras to him.

"What's in it for me?"

"Well...when I bring EJ down - when he's in prison...or worse - you can break the news to Stefano."

Sounds like a pretty crummy deal to me, but Victor goes for it anyways.

Notice the "when he's in prison...or worse" bit.

Are you familiar with Dick Tracy at all? He reminds me so much of Rafe. I always remembered him as being an upstanding kind of guy. It wasn't until I was older that I realized Dick Tracy is actually Satan. Usually after he'd solve the crime, the villain/villainess behind the caper would die a terribly gruesome, ironic death. Dick Tracy would sit by and watch the whole thing happen with barely a raised eyebrow, then he'd make some sort of clever bon mot relating to the punishment somehow fitting the crime.

Here's a prime example:

Hey...wait a second...

Oh. My. God.



Abe gives Bo a good finger-wagging

Abe is furious to find out (off-screen, much to my disappointment) that Sami is the person who shot EJ, and that Bo and Roman have known this for some time but haven't made a single move to do anything about it.

Bo, at one point, actually has the gall to suggest that Abe is only making a big deal about the cover-up because election time is just around the corner, which amused me to no end.

The only thing that ruins this all is the fact that nothing ends up coming of this conversation. Abe seems alright with things once Bo makes it clear that Rafe doesn't know anything about the attempted murder - because the real problem here is apparently just about Bo hiring a possible accessory to an attempted murder.

So December 10th, 2010 will forever go down as the day we had a very, very brief glimpse of sanity on this show.

Lexie!

Lexie, Theo and Abe are back and it looks like there might be some sort of storyline coming their way. Mind you, I've been fooled a few times now. I was honestly hoping something would happen between she and Hope after the whole "you could have killed my husband" thing, but nope. Nothing.

After surprising Abe with the news that Theo can read on his own now, she discovered that while Theo was able to read the words, he couldn't understand the story.

Heartbroken, Lexie is caught crying later by Ben. She tells him that she's ashamed that sometimes she wishes Theo wasn't autistic. Ben tells her that's normal and that she shouldn't beat herself up over it. Then, like any normal human being, he gives Lexie a comforting hug.

But a hug in Salem is never just a hug. Abe appears in the doorway and glares at the two of them while they remain oblivious to his presence.

Okay, seriously. Is this the best the writers can do? Don't answer that. It was rhetorical.

I think what bugs me the most is that this scene probably isn't even going to turn into anything. Ben is clearly a naughty boy only on the canvas temporarily, so it's not like I'm going to be sitting on the edge of my seat wondering if Lexie is going to get all caught up in a triangle with Bennifer, and frankly I wouldn't want that anyways. Lexie and Abe are the last surviving angst-free couple on the show right now (for the most part), and I sort of dig that. But, Soap Gods - I'm begging you - Give my girl something to do.

Looking back in anger

Speaking of Lexie and triangles, there was some more rehashing in this episode. When Abe demands that Bo bring Sami in for attempted murder and threatens he and Roman with their jobs if he refuses, Sami explodes.

Sami reminds him that Lexie was never punished for taking Bo and Hope's son from them, and that Lexie had an affair with Brandon while he was engaged to Sami. She makes sure to also put extra emphasis on the fact that Brandon was Abe's son. You know...in case Abe is just as dumb as the writers think we are. Meh. Who are we kidding. Abe is just as dumb as the writers think we are.

The Return of Ghoul Girl!

Remember when Chloe used to leave the house fully-clothed and Phillip washed his hair on a regular basis? Another glimpse into the past brings us hope that Phloe is even closer to the Now than we thought. We get a lovely little moment in which Phillip, as a gift to the Baby Parker, gives Chloe the song sheet of the little ditty she wrote for baby sister Joy so long ago. She was touched that he had actually kept it for so long.

Phillip wistfully remarks that they broke up soon after that. Chloe, in turn, tells him that he was the first man she ever loved. Then we get a lovely little flashback to a simpler time. A better-looking time.

Aww...Phloe.

The writers are practically bludgeoning us over the head with hints of things to come, but I ate it up like white chocolate, macademia nut cookies.

Stephanie's shirt has hanger nipples

Okay, I know the shirt is supposed to look like that, and those things on her shoulders aren't actually clothes hanger nipples, but honestly - what the fuck?

Moments like this make me think of the movie Showgirls. I sit and watch that movie and wonder how it happened. I mean, really. A whole cast and crew of people - hundreds of people - and not one of them thought, "This is a colossol mistake."

Are you telling me that not one person on set thought, "That shirt looks like it has hanger nipples on it"? Is the stylist a fascist who refused to listen to the voice of reason? Was there a voice of reason?

Speaking of...

Yee-haw

What the hell is Sami wearing?

Okay, now you can't see it properly in the picture but that thing she's wearing is actually a dress. She's also wearing dark tights, caramel-coloured boots, and a purple belt. It's like she was vomited on by an episode of Roseanne.

Gabi is melting. What a world, what a world

In yet another effort to grow Will up, Gabi is wearing flats in today's episode to make him appear taller and manlier.

Personally, I don't think it's working. Will still looks like Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap.

Would I watch today's episode? Johnny/EJ/Sami stuff aside - Sure. Why the hell not? Seeing Lexie is always a pleasure, and watching Abe do some truth-telling was fun to watch for as long as it lasted. The Phloe flashback was adorable.

It wasn't the most exciting episode - though it could have been much more interesting had the writers known what they were doing (as is always the case). Lexie telling Abe about Sami being the shooter shouldn't have been something left to happen off-screen. We don't get to see Abe very often so I would have liked the little on-screen time he was given to be spent more wisely.