Jane, Rochester, Janet, Brad, Rocky...

Well, hello there.

Another day.  Another Days.  Another daze.

Career Change

Rafe believes that EJ's plan is to leave a note for Sami saying he had to leave town to take care of some urgent police business then try to make some moves on Sami in an effort to win her back.

EJ chuckles.

"Oh, Rafe.  I think it's about time you considered a new career."

Jesus, me too.

While Rafe's plan would have made more sense (by Days standards, of course), one has to wonder if Sami wouldn't have figured out what was really going on in a matter of nano-seconds based on the fact that Rafe's urgent police business has not only never taken him out of town, it's barely taken him out of his apartment.

Snakes on the plain

What's going on with Sami's hair?

 

Blame Shiftin'

Nate believes that what happened to Jennifer is his fault, because he's the one who gave  her Hope's message.

"If the message was from Hope, wouldn't that make this Hope's fault?"  Melanie suggests.

Interesting.  Do tell.

"Look.  I know Hope 'does no wrong', but she's a cop so she had to know what she was dealing with.  She sent her cousin to a place full of murderers and con artists and she got you to do it.  So, for my two cents, I think Hope's the one who should be feeling guilty this morning."

Another easy answer is that Hope underestimated how dumb her cousin actually is, but I like Melanie's way of thinking too.

Reuse, Recycle, Rehash

The DiMeras, in an effort to become more environmentally sound, furnish their brand new dungeon with rusty, old bars, leaping mightily into the twenty-first century.

But then so many storylines have been reused, recycled and rehashed that really we should be applauding the fact that Days is actually ahead of its time.

A DiMera in Repose

So far the only thing I've enjoyed about this episode is watching EJ sitting in that chair.

You sit in that chair, boy.

Rafe goes apeshit

 

Get your hands off my Days you damn, dirty Dena.

With this new speakeasy, it's easier to speak even easier!

Sami makes a point of showing Efar the brand new speakeasy the superintendent has installed.  Now the characters can actually close the doors behind them like normal people without having to worry that their private conversations might stay private.  Well-played, Days.

All In The Family

The Hernandez Clan share a beautiful family moment.

 

Is it just me or do they all look like they're dating eachother?

Where's Allie?

Allie is in the other room, of course!

Evidently she's as interested that everyone's back at the Smugnest as I am.

Will Mama Hernandez ever have peace of mind?

Gabi tells Rafe that he needs to call their mother right away.  Sami agrees that it's a good idea.  Apparently H-Mama has been really upset and that no one has been able to calm her down after that phonecall she never received informing her that her son had been in a car accident.

Efar explains to them that - get ready for this - he doesn't remember stuff, so if he starts talking to Mama H and tells her that, she's going to start thinking he has a brain tumour.  Then she's just gonna keep him on the phone forever.

Gabi pats his arm.  "Yeah.  You're probably right."

WHAT?!

The engaging, emotional tempest that is Days then proceeds to sweep Gabi right into the eye of the Hernandez Triangle where she won't be seen again for the rest of this episode after Sami asks her if she can check to see if Will, Johnny and Allie want something to eat.  Because this party isn't going to be one of those fancy-schmancy parties with hoity-toity things like food.

Samantha Gene Brady:  Greatest. Mother. Ever.

Worried that this is all too much stress for Rafe, Sami suggests they postpone the party until next week because "Sydney doesn't know when her birthday is."

Nice, Sami.

The Key to Sami's Black, Black Heart

Sami panics when she notices that Efar is not wearing the safehouse key around his neck.

 

Thank our lucky stars!  Sami's onto him!  Now she'll storm the DiMansion where she will be reunited with her one true love!

Efar tells Sami it must have gotten lost at the hospital.  Sami nods.

"That must be it."

Dammit, Days!  Why?  WHY?!

Okay, really?  Am I going to have to watch a scene in about two years (when I'm sure this will probably be close to over) in which Sami and Rafe pull out their keys and hold them up while Sami does that cry-smile-cry thing, except this time it's reversed, making it a smile-cry-smile thing?  Will they touch keys, emitting a rapturous glow that will put out Johnny's other eye before embracing Sami and Rafe in its white heat as they ascend to the heavens on a cloud made of fluffy, fluffy love?

Omigod.  Did I just give someone an idea?

The Point of No Return

"There's the birthday girl!"

Shit!  Well, there's no turning back now.  She knows.

Nicole rolls her eyes

Ignoring Nicole, Sami takes Sydney over to the couch and begins bouncing the poor girl on her knee.

"How's Mama's girl doing?"

And then Nicole performs a magnificent eye roll only rivaled by that of one EJ DiMera.

 

Doug reads my mind

Julie begs for Jennifer to come back to them.  Doug excuses himself to buy some flowers from the gift shop.

"You know, this room is enough to make anyone want to stay asleep."

I hear ya, man.

We can hear Rafe's thoughts

...aaaand they're just as boring as they are when he says them out loud.

Presents of Mind

You know what you should get a kid with limited peripheral vision as a welcome home gift?  Sharpened hockey skates.

 

Don't worry, guys

...Sami is still a bitch.

As a gift to Sami, Nicole has professional pictures of Sydney taken then puts them in a lovely little photo album for her.  Sami pulls out some Sami cut-eye for her.

"Isn't that special," she snaps sarcastically.

In return, Sami receives some EJ cut-eye.

 

Third time's a charm?

Nope.

For the last couple of weeks we've had to watch Nate and Melanie express to eachother that they need to have "a talk" and all sorts of soapy little interruptions here and there have prevented this talk from happening.  And today is no different.  Only three quarters into a single episode the talk has already been postponed three times.

And some still wonder why Mark Hapka wanted the hell off this show.

The more we get together

EJ thanks Sami for her hospitality.  Sami thanks EJ for not letting Allie feel left out (because by now we're expected to have forgotten that Sami was the one always on EJ's case about treating Allie like his own daughter).

Isn't it comforting knowing Allie was such a good sport about not being able to leave her room the entire duration of the party?

Efaricole?  Nicolenstein?

Nicole seems to have chemistry with every incarnation of Rafe thrown into her orbit so far.  Interesting.

Ejami-Look

A pitiful little crumb to remind us how just one look between EJ and Sami is more sexually charged than all the tamale making Sami and Rafe can squeeze into a year.

A Bronte's Worst Nightmare

While talking to Nicole, Sami becomes distracted for a moment.  Before Nicole can give her actions any further thought, she asks Sami what gives.

Sami explains that she spaced out because she and Rafe always know when one of them is thinking of the other and she's sure that he's thinking about her this very second.  Then we see Rafe lying on his little prison cot where we're mercilessly forced to hear his thoughts again.

"I will always, always love you."

 

Since Sami and Rafe are incapable of "showing", they're relying rather heavily on "telling".  Working like a charm, isn't it?

I'm amused that the Sami/Rafe and EJ/Taylor romances are slippery eels in the hands of the most inept writing team in the history of  Days.  A great comfort ejamis can wrap themselves up in to keep them warm at night, non?

I Am Number Four

Nathan and Melanie finally meet outside the hospital for their "talk".

Within minutes Melanie abruptly makes up her mind that Nathan doesn't really want what he wants and leaves before he has any idea what the hell just happened. 

The worst part about this isn't that I lost interest in this story the second I found out that any Mate reunion would be short-lived.  It's that I lost interest long before that.

Would I watch this episode?

The "Will Jennifer be saved by the power of love" stuff was insufferably boring (way to waste a Doug and Julie appearance).  The Mate stuff went in circles, getting us nowhere.  Taylor is...Jesus, I don't even know where to start.  

My number one reason for not recommending this episode is that now that I've seen more of Efar, the hope that he might be more interesting than Rafe has been dashed.  The only difference between them now is that Rafe is Agent Sad-Sack-Behind-Bars while Efar is a mildly dopier version of Agent Not-Behind-Bars.  Oh, sorry.  I mean "Commander".

This episode was positively abysmal, and I suspect the rest are only going to get worse from here on in.

So after my Dena rant, Sonja suggested that I install Twitter and Facebook buttons so readers can spread my vitriol and disdain further than my current reach if they feel so inclined (which flatters me beyond belief)! They are now there at the bottom of each post, but for some reason they're positively tiny.  I'll have to work on that sooner rather than later because the button envy is really crippling me confidence-wise right now.